Mateo, coffee, origami, and the Spurs

I guess Mateo is truly meant to be a Spurs fan. 😊

I am loving our coffee shop adventures

The other day, Mateo and I had another coffee shop adventure after his appointment with his derma-pedia (he still has egg allergy huhu). I finally got to bring him to one of my favorite coffee places despite it being so pricey - The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. I was so hungry, I was not sure where the Kopitiam was located, and it was lunch time so I would probably just stress over the crowd. Food and good mood outweigh being frugal and financially responsible.

Our lunch: water for him, coffee for me.

Mateo showed good toddler manners while we were having lunch, but was getting bored and cranky as I was finishing my coffee. Go home or coffee? Of course, coffee! It was expensive and it was a good coffee. What to do, then?

He was entertained with our little games and "chat," but was already getting irritated when he suddenly found the receipt. I then remembered paper cranes and planes, and I got excited. I think he would really like the paper crane, but I forgot how to do it. I have also forgotten how to do the paper plane but that was easier to figure out, even if it turned out to be a disfigured plane.

Paper planes and boat

So there I was trying to show Mateo that the paper toy was supposed to be a plane that flies to him. Mateo, meanwhile found joy in throwing the paper plane for me to pick up. When I remembered to make a paper boat, he then decided to eat it. His tummy welcomed another tiny piece of paper. Yum. It was a good time for both of us that origami became the first in my new list of restaurant (or cafe) activities for toddlers.

Today's discovery: origami is a good cafe #toddleractivity

New task: learn/relearn origami

— Mommy Kate (@mommykatefa) October 27, 2016

So what's this Spurs thing about? Just the origami stuff. I never imagined I would relate this to the Spurs, but here it is:

As an additional note, as a I was watching the Kawhi highlights from that SAS-GSW game, Mateo snatched my phone from me to watch it himself. I guess he was saying, "That's Spurs, mommy. I must watch it." Or he was simply trying to grab my attention. 😊

Kawhi Leonard puts up career-high 35 points, along with 5 rebounds & 5 steals to lead the @Spurs in Oakland! #GoSpursGo pic.twitter.com/Kso34x9jOV

— NBA (@NBA) October 26, 2016

Yeah, Spurs fan at a young age. #GoSpursGo

Chilling and hanging out with Mateo

My baby is fast becoming a toddler, while being extra clingy to me. This entails walking a lot and dragging me along with him. He can be left alone to play with his toys, but I still have to be close to him. Really close. Like within an arm's reach close. I find it tiring, despite feeling that Mateo is somewhat an easy baby to look after.

I know that I should totally embrace this stage since this too shall pass. Yet, I am so stubborn. I try to squeeze in doing house chores as Mateo wants to simply spend time exploring things with me. Want to walk around? I should be beside him. Mommy needs to fold laundry? Mateo will shake the laundry rack and try to topple it. Need to wash dishes? He will follow me to the kitchen where he can find and bring a lot of mess. Or simply cry his lungs out behind closed doors.

It gets overwhelming. I could not find time to unwind. Then I found the way to chill out WITH him. I realized the two of us could already eat out when one day at noon time he begged me to go out. I was tired, and even if we did not have lunch yet and I knew he was sleepy, I submitted to his command. Yey. We went out. I was hungry (which most likely means he was also hungry). There was Subway. It looked healthy. We ordered food and ate. The six-inch sandwich may not have been satisfying for both of us (both of us wanted more but it was enough to not to make us hangry), but it was a good time.

Here is Mateo eating his first Subway roasted beef sandwich:

So the next day when Mateo was once again being a bit difficult (perhaps agitated from being just at home), we went out. I took to him to McCafe where I had cappuccino (surprisingly nice) and Mateo ate most of the mango muffin. It was a joy to hang out with this little kid! It has been one of my dreams to take Mateo to a coffee shop and with him alone. I had done that in Toast Box when he was 11 months, but he was sleeping. Now, we are finally eating together. Check. Check. Next in the checklist will be reading a book in a coffee shop while we sip our drinks in peace. Or maybe something less ambitious, like taking a nice photo of our little adventure.

It will be extremely expensive to do this everyday, but I am sure going to make this one of our regular activities. Now I can unwind and relax while tagging him along. Never mind the mess at home. :)

Dirt!

I love how Mateo loves to explore the world around him. I want him to experience the outdoors, including playing with dirt! Okay, just gravel, soil, and sand, and grass, rock, water, or whatever it is that makes his face light up. At one point I started to allow him to play with shoes because I was just too tired trying to stop him from rummaging through our shoe rack😀.

I couldn't stop him. He picked and rummaged through the dry leaves, grass, dirt, everything on the ground. I had to forcibly move him to a more grassy area.

I believe in giving him almost free reign to explore his surroundings in order to expand his experience and nurture his developing brain. Babies and toddlers learn by playing, anyway. So Mon and I take any chance to go out of our house so we can catch more pokemons Mateo can have more opportunities for these "explorations." It started when we went to Gardens by the Bay and allowed him to crawl on the grass. It was like unleashing someone restrained for a long time -- he was THRILLED! Living in an HDB unit even with an adjacent park simply isn't enough.

My desire to expose Mateo to the outdoors more started with this. He definitely loved our trip to Gardens by the Bay with his cousins last May.

So a couple of weeks ago was another day to explore the world (or Singapore). With his lola, tita, and ninang (and of course, mommy), Mateo once again went out for an adventure. This time in Chinese Garden. It took us a while to find a decent patch of grass, but it was worth it. He loved the grass, even the dirt. There was also a large rock he climbed. He had so much fun that I had to carry Mateo back to where the titas and lola were taking rest. He just did not want to stop, but it was getting late and we had to go home.

Happy :)

As a side note, I'm simply happy and thankful that I'm now doing good. My doctor thinks I'm doing good, and the pain is slowly getting milder and less frequent. My only concern now is my weight, even though the doc's okay with. He said I had gotten really sick so it surely takes time to fully recover. Keeping up with Mateo makes it difficult to gain weight (I burn calories fast and more than I usually eat) but makes me fit at the same time (unintended exercise). Though I have to thank Pokemon Go, too, for that extra motivation to go out and keep walking.

My little rock climber. Obviously, I couldn't let go. 

Singapore has a lot of green spaces, and we will take advantage of it. Time to keep our shoes (and hands?) dirty!

Mateo is now 1 yr and 1 month!

My little baby is now turning more into a toddler! Just last year he was literally our "little" bundle of joy. Now, he looks chubbier than Mon and me.

I have intended to write a "one year old post" for Mateo but I got busy/lazy, and I prefer typing in our laptop but I could rarely find time to use the laptop in peace. And while I originally intended to do a sort of nostalgic written account of what he can do at this age so I won't forget, I'll just write it in bullets to save time (and because I'm thinking of many milestones for my little baby!)

Mateo during our mini photo session before his birthday. It is not easy to take a photo of an active baby without any help.

At 13 months, Mateo:

• loves to show affection. He is sweet even to his Big Bear Ninong Jic and Ninang Mau lent him. He loves that bear so much that he kisses and hugs it. He even hugs the monster looking stuffed toy ironically named Honey Crumb. With that kind of affection, he somehow made Mon and I sweeter.
• loves to go out. He will insist on going out. He tries to put on his shoes (or asks us to put on his shoes), climbs his stroller, and point to the door keys.
• loves to see the world. Mateo can fight his sleep when we're out. Thankfully, he rarely gets grumpy when he misses his nap. But when he gets grumpy, he is grumpy.
• loves to meet people. He seeks out attention especially in the MRT or lift. He usually gets that attention - not by wailing, but by making eye contact, smiling, babbling, and even touching/patting whoever happens to sit beside us.Mateo is truly more sociable than me.
• likes to play ball. He has taken his first "many steps" while holding a ball each in his hands.
• loves to listen and dance to music. He particularly likes the happy birthday song, and previously Tatlong Bibe before it got very repetitive. He dances even to slow music.
• likes to read books. It is easy to keep him busy even with a small book.
• is impatient. I think he got that from me.
• loves to eat. He eats a lot. Anything. I almost cannot keep up.
• can stay up late. Especially when there's a gathering, he stays up late. What a party boy!
• loves birthdays. See above: he likes the happy birthday song. He loved his 1st birthday party (hopefully I can write about that at a later time).
• can climb up and down our bed with ease. This is a good thing so I do not have to carry him to go up and down the bed. I am still not allowed to carry him, and I don't think I ever will be (he just keeps getting bigger).
• loves to brush his teeth. He even does it himself. We take turns brushing his teeth. I used to sing to encourage him to brush his teeth, so now he dances even when I do not sing. I hope this won't change.
• loves to take a bath. He loves the water, but not the beach.
• has already taken more than a couple of steps without assistance. That's his "first many steps" last 2 Sep 2016, at 13 months. So proud and happy! He just stood up and walked towards me on his own without coaxing. He was also proud of his milestone. :) We're still working on making him walk on his own more.
• shows his interest for his independence. He wants to eat on his own and hold his own utensils. I have been a proud mommy when he insisted to do it on his own while it wasn't in my mind yet. It is just messy. But fun.

I cherish every moment that I'm taking care of him. I have missed bonding with him during his infancy. That surgery was just brutal. I can still feel pain from that surgery, but it isn't as brutal anymore. I still feel grateful. Every chance I have now to care for him is simply precious.

Almost a year after the surgery, I have finally been able to take care of Mateo on my own. I did it! I was able to do it with Mon, of course, who has simply been a super dad and super hubby. For a month now and for one more month, mama (Mon's mother) is here to help us take care of little big Mateo. Well, she's also here to nourish Mon and me (although only Mateo has been visibly getting bigger). So for a month more, I'll have an extra bit of rest for myself. I haven't fully enjoyed it, however (motherhood is really a full time job with overtime all the time, but still amazing).

I am looking forward into Mateo's toddlerhood. I am excited (because really missing that infancy felt so cruel), but I'm also a bit anxious because well, toddlers. I love you, Matmat!

Mateo loves to eat

I cannot keep up with his love for food. I want to give Mateo a varied diet, but when he eats (light) breakfast, snack, lunch, sometimes another snack, and dinner, how many meals should I realistically prepare to satisfy his appetite? A good problem, perhaps, and I very openly accept it. I love to feed him.

He would eat almost anything

He still gets his nourishment from milk. While he loves to eat, he does not really eat complete meals. Besides, he still drinks five to six bottles of milk in a day. No wonder he's big. 

When I got ourselves into that "baby-led weaning" approach, I thought it would be simple and easy for me. With BLW, I do not need to mash or puree every food he eats. Just cut up an apple and he is good. I did not realize that I had to introduce more complex meals as he gets older, that he'll be consuming more, and that he would turn out to be allergic to egg.

He started with mashed foods, though (mashed squash in particular). I was not confident to give him a real solid food right away, and Reymond was quite hesitant about it. Also, I an article about some medical professional's take on BLW influenced me to not strictly adhere to BLW practies. So I took it slow.

When I finally decided to give him food that weren't mashed, it turned to an even greater adventure. Orange, banana, apple, pear, any food I gave him - he devoured them. I quickly realized he prefers food he can hold and put in his mouth by himself.

He loves to eat on his own. That is one benefit of BLW. Problem with that, however, it will get really messy. Even with mashed foods, he prefers to hold the spoon on his own. Even messier. Sometimes I just feed him sans spoon even for mushy food.

Eating is also a sensory play for babies so I (used to) let him play with his food. Now that he's a bit older, playing with his food is usually sign that he's already full. Or bored. Or lazy. Or really just playful - he sometimes still eats when I put food close to his mouth. (One principle of BLW - or simply good feeding practices, perhaps - is to not force food to babies. Let them explore the food and eat at their own pace.)

A lot of times I am not aware that I am into BLW and that it is not a common practice in my family. This occurred to me when my stepmom said she's not at ease when Mat stuffs food into his mouth. My sister-in-law later concurred. I bet, though, that they enjoy feeding him and seeing him take pleasure in his food.

It is a joy to feed Mateo. Feeding him is a great experience for us. Even when he sometimes gags from eating too much at once. (Gagging is different from choking. A parent should know the danger signs of choking and administer first aid right away.) Even when it gets messy. And even if I do not have the energy to prepare and cook all the food I want to give him. More food adventures to come!

25 years since I turned 7

Yesterday, I saw BPI's tweet about Pampanga's holiday to commemorate Mt. Pinatubo eruption's 25th anniversary. So, I realized, it has been 25 years since I turned seven.

It brought back my memories to that unforgettable day. I have had numerous memorable and happy birthday celebrations (as well as non-celebrations), but my seventh birthday should undeniably be a stand out. Seventh birthdays are usually celebrated with a blast (especially nowadays, they're grandiose for kids!), and my seventh birthday was definitely a "blast."

We were in total darkness, with light only coming from candles, flashlights, and lightnings. I do not know if they were simply lightnings or flashes of light from the volcano's eruption. There was a lot going on but an eerie darkness blanketed us that seemed to stop life. There was ash fall, there was rain, and roofs were crushing down from the weight of ash and rain.

If I remember it right, the men in our family tried to partially remove ashes from our roof. Yet, aside from roofs falling due to wet ash fall, there were earthquakes. There were the usual earthquakes, and then there were earthquakes that moved VERTICALLY. I was young then, but I knew that the earth moving up and down was totally scary and wrong. So, hoping to survive whatever comes our way, we stayed under a table for the whole day and/or night (the day felt like night).

It was like an apocalyptic scene, except this was real life. And, it was my birthday.

I was an only child and the only apo back then, so of course we were to celebrate my seventh birthday. I had a table of food to feed my guests (although I cannot remember the food). My invited guests did not arrive, though. My guests were strangers temporarily seeking shelter in our home as they moved away from the north.

I was too young to mingle with them, to know their stories, and to ask where they were going or what were their plans. Now, twenty-five years later, I wonder about them. How are they now? What happened to their homes? How has life been after Mt. Pinatubo unleashed its wrath?

I hope and pray that they feel blessed now. Despite that unfortunate disaster, I really do hope that they are happy just as I feel happy. This post is really about you who has a Mt. Pinatubo (and other disaster) story. For all the people affected by Mt. Pinatubo, especially the people who have passed through our home, and for my 25th birthday after turning seven, CHEERS! :)

Goodbye, PhD

I have finally decided to leave the PhD program. I have accepted that I won't continue the program anymore. This after reading the statistical analyses on the alleged election fraud.

At least I had my M.A. in Economics in 2012 :)

I knew that I would voluntarily leave the program (to "quit" is just too harsh to say) within a year or so. I am not working on my research, I am not in touch with the School, I am no longer reading PhD comics, and I am just too focused on Mateo and getting well. I just did not expect to make the decision this early, and due to a discourse that intrigued my mind. I have enjoyed reading other scholars' take on the alleged trend and anomaly in the Philippines' election results for vice president. Then it hit me to finally end it.

It is with a smile, albeit a bittersweet one, that I end this. It feels like a real breakup. I cried. I certainly did not expect that I would cry over this. I do not know about a "good breakup," but perhaps it would feel like this one. It is simply a goodbye to something good that I know.

At least now I am leaving the program with no more "maybe's." I do not feel like saying that maybe it would be different if I were healthier, if I did not have to undergo that unplanned and unexpected major surgery, if I have recovered faster from that surgery, or if I have worked on my dissertation earlier. There are no regrets. No "maybe's" are holding me back.

I have pursued higher education because I wanted to serve other people better. Of course I could be of service to others without a title or letters after my name. It was simply my preferred path before. Now I must move on to do something else.

Now that PhD and me are over, it feels like something bigger looms ahead. I pray for guidance. Goodbye, PhD. That was a good run. :)

Hello again, Singapore

Back in Singapore. As per Reymond, this is a proof that I'm now strong!

Back in Singapore and getting stronger. Blessed and thankful!

It was a tiring Thursday last week. Our flight was delayed, Mateo wanted to walk around a lot, he was on my lap through take off and landing, and I had to carry him through immigration. Thankfully Tita Star, Lara, and Venice were with us. More thankfully, I did not feel pain or unbearable discomfort.

The following day, though, doctor told me not to carry my baby (short of saying not to carry him, please.) My baby is big, he said. I acceded to his advise. Mateo is heavy!

As I get stronger, I am taking more responsibility taking care of little big Mateo. I have learned my lesson, though, to be patient with my body. I still need help. Reymond and I are taking it month-to-month how best to deal with it. For now, hello, Singapore. It's good to be back. :)

Filled with love, sprinkled with faith, and touched with inspiration

It's been a while since I last wrote here. I tried to write something but never succeeded finishing that piece. I have a lot of thoughts about my mommy journey that I really wanted to share, yet I just end up browsing through the Pounding the Rock site than writing a somewhat meaningful piece😅.

My experience certainly has been one of a kind. I had an unplanned major surgery six days after giving birth. Then I had to go back to the hospital two weeks after that for a different issue. Aside from those physical struggles, it was so tough emotionally. Pregnancy hormones maybe made it even worse.

There were lots of drama. Now six months post-partum (and also six months after surgery), I am now more sane, level-headed, at peace, and up to the physical demands of being a mother. Perhaps I can now write more often. Maybe. I hope so.

I want to write about my experiences. I have some crazy hope that I could somehow inspire others about it. What I have been through and going through are not easy, to put it mildly. Yet despite all those difficulties, I still feel blessed. God continues to show me His greatness. He has been my refuge, while friends and even plain acquaintances helped me keep and strengthen my faith. I still have lapses, but I pray to grow even more in faith. Maybe this blog can do me good as well - my mommy blog filled with love, sprinkled with faith, and touched with inspiration.

As I write this, my baby is sleeping peacefully beside me. Such a precious moment and feeling! Ah, the joys of motherhood. Welcome to my mommy diary😊.