Living with a faithful heart

A month before the new year. Twenty-five days before Christmas. One hundred and sixty-six days since I turned 30. One day after I got officially enrolled again. No matter what countdown I use, I want to start each day with a cause for celebration and purpose.

Great timing cannot be missed. A simple chat with a friend opened my heart to what I want and have been missing in my life. He stubbornly urged me to do and finish my dissertation. I was too close to finally dropping from the Ph.D. program, but all the great timing made me commit to do one final push (it felt like God saying, "Hey Kate, don't give up yet. Remember why you entered graduate school in the first place.) It was a great timing because I was at a point when I knew I wanted to do more.

For most of the year, I have been overwhelmed with worry. I have a tumor that has been in my body for more than a decade, which cannot be removed without risk and complication. Early this year, my doctor recommended a procedure to possibly remove it. However, it is too expensive. Then I got infection, hospitalized (in expensive Singapore without an insurance), recommended for surgery, and got sick with minor ailments once in a while.

It was too overwhelming. I mulled over how to finance that expensive procedure. I worried about staying healthy, which probably also made me even less healthy. I dreaded going to my doctor whose patients were mostly senior citizens accompanied by their children older than me. Without a doubt , I also had great and joyous moments in my life. However, worry got the better of me. There were times when I felt alone even with the support of my husband, family and friends. So I relied to God for strength, and it has been good.

I learned to face my life with a faithful heart. Suddenly I felt calm and at peace with my condition, trusting God in His plans and unconditional love. My test results have been promising. I stopped worrying too much. I got a renewed strength to face the world. When that happened, I started to think about what to do in my life. What should I do?

As I was in the process of putting direction in my life, I got myself thinking in that dissertation again. For me it is not just a dissertation – it represents what I really want to do. I want to learn more, contribute to the society, do research, work in a policy-oriented environment later, and take on every challenge that I face. It is a big vision, with other leisurely and awesome plans along the way coupled with an aspiration to share more blessings. To successfully do it, I am praying for inspiration and resolve each day. Whatever happens, I will give my best to a purposeful life. Cheers!

The big THREE-ZERO

I am now thirty years old. It feels weird most of the time – I still think like I am in my twenties, maybe 28. While I feel that way, I am grateful for being at this point in my life (whoa, hello early thirties), and simply ecstatic with how I celebrated this milestone.

I planned to just have pansit or carbonara and cake for my birthday. I intended to prepare one dish, demand a cake from Mon, share the food with our housemates, and have a simple celebration at home. Two additional boxes of pizza would already be a treat. God must have wanted me to have a big time birthday and be reminded that I have a lot of reason to celebrate, because I got more than what I wanted.

It started with Tubs calling their friends for a get together at our place. While it was not primarily my celebration, it was a good enough reason for me to feel blessed. I welcomed the 15th of June with Mon's friends over nilagang baka, adobo, chicken (courtesy of Lloyd and Grace),  Jose Cuervo, X.O. and pusoy. Good time.

I want a cake for my birthday, so I dearly requested Mon to buy me one. Tubs already planned to cook paksiw, so I decided to cook pansit to complement the meal – just a simple lunch.

My cake request and simple lunch turned to a party meal. My dear hubby made it special. I did not even have to cook. The men in the house did all the kitchen work: Mon for oven-baked ribs, Tubs for paksiw, Gian for pansit, and Jic for crispy ulo. Since we already had too much food for the people in the house, we invited a few friends who could come over for late lunch. Sarah, Harold and a friend became my instant guests, with a cake in tow. I ended up having two cakes; sweet.

We attended mass in the afternoon, and I thought that was a nice way to end the day's celebration. Then we ran into Mon and Jic's brod, and invited him for dinner and videoke. It became an extended celebration as I also said hello to my 30 years and a day of life.

It has been a very lovely day. I felt so loved, grateful and blessed. My heart was overflowing with joy that I posted a lengthy thank you message in Facebook, which is something I very rarely do.

During the mass, I remember being inspired, though I cannot recall now what exactly was the message.  All I can remember is that I felt encouraged about my life. I wanted to inspire other people and live my life in God's service by spreading His love. That was the ultimate reason why I started this blog, even if it took me a couple of weeks to finally put this up. My life is not perfect; but it's a wonderful life worth celebrating.