Having Mateo in our lives is a dream come true, a wish granted, a prayer answered. I think Reymond has been more explicit in his prayers to God to grant us children, but my prayers have been more tame. I was focused on asking Him to free me from my tumor so I could get pregnant and bear child. This journey is a testament that God hears the deepest desires of our hearts -- for having our own child is more important to me than anything else and is the one thing that makes me desperate to seek healing for the tumor.
The doctors I have consulted in the Philippines and even in National University Hospital strongly advised me against getting pregnant. They said it would pose great risk for both me and my baby. For three years, Reymond and I tried to avoid getting pregnant, and were successful until one fateful day in late 2014. God seemed to have said it is now time for us to have our little Mateo Jose. In my heart, it is the perfect time.
Given my medical history, I have expected to experience a difficult pregnancy. I would not have been surprised if I had numerous bouts of urinary tract infection or had been ordered to get bed rest. I expected to deliver by ceasarian section. Those expectations did not actualize.
I have been fortunate to be under the care of Dr Goh Shen Li, who has a very positive mindset and genuinely loves her job (based on the twinkle in her eyes when I go for check ups). She was confident that I could have a normal delivery and did not find a reason for all the advise I got not to get pregnant. In her care, my pregnancy journey has been relatively smooth, and I had a normal delivery.
As a precaution, she referred me to another specialist, Dr Elaine Lim to look into my case. Again, I got a positive feedback that she found no problem of me getting pregnant. She was actually one of the influences that made us pick Mateo as our son's name. As she checked on me, Dr Lim suddenly blurted out, "Matthew!" telling us that she feels our son should be named as such.
My expected due date was 3 August. I gave birth at 37 weeks, on 18 July. It was a bit early, but again the perfect timing.
Feeling and seeing my baby come out from my body makes me want to cry (with tears of joy) until now. It is a surreal feeling. It is a miracle. It is wonderful. It is amazing. It is a definitive moment that made me feel that God is all great, powerful and almighty. There is nothing else that I can compare to that feeling.
The surreal feeling lasted hours after seeing my baby for the first time, hearing him cry, kissing him and carrying him close to me. It sometimes felt like I was in a parallel universe. Probably the tiring effort of going through labor and delivery added to the freaky feeling, but I was on high.
Mateo had to be brought to NICU for observation right after birth because he was grunting. It was anti-climactic to a wonderful afternoon, but God's awesomeness filled my heart that I knew he would be okay. Reymond has also been there for me and Mateo, being a very caring husband and father (he's simply great during pregnancy, labor, delivery, and even all the turmoil after giving birth!), and my anxiety was minimized.
Looking back into my pregnancy journey and seeing God's miracle in Mateo brings joy to my heart. God gives me strength, while Mateo is my motivation to move forward. Having Mateo is truly a wonderful blessing, and words are not enough to describe his impact in my life.
